Reasons to pick Palin as vice presidential running mate

By REX W. HUPPKE
Chicago Tribune

Why Sarah Palin would be a good choice for vice president:

• Offers proof positive that the only inexperience that matters is Barack Obama's inexperience.
• Will ensure that no American child will ever grow up without learning to spell "Iditarod."
• Her peppy, youthful demeanor will make McCain look grandfatherly rather than just old.
• Will be a highly motivated candidate, since election victory would get her the hell out of Alaska.
• Has degree in journalism, undeniable proof of brilliance.
• Believes nothing would spruce up the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge like a few hundred oil derricks.
• Nearly 30 years McCain's junior, she'll open the door for him to frequently use the term "whippersnapper," thus making the candidate more appealing to octogenarians and people yelling at kids to get off the damn lawn.
• Has kids named Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper, and Trig. Those are some kick-ass names and will win over hippies.
• Should easily attract disaffected Hillary Clinton supporters, as long as they close their eyes and abandon every issue they've ever stood for.
• Country couldn't have handled the international indignity of a vice president named "Mitt."
• She's not Dick Cheney.