Top Ten REAL Reasons McCain Picked Palin

By Don Davis
Satirical Political Report

10. CHANGE! Given his age, Grandpa McCain wanted someone who has recent experience changing diapers.

9. Send strong message to Russia they can’t take back Alaska.

8. A perfect match: Alaska Governor and Senator who now panders to “Men in Trees.”

7. Palin not vulnerable to harassment by Larry Craig in GOP Convention restrooms.

6. Pronunciation of ”Pale-in” reinforces racial message the GOP is the “whiteface” party.

5. “Hockey Mom” reinforces racial message the GOP is the “whiteface” party.

4. New energy plan will include drilling and dog sled transportation.

3. She knows how to spell “Baked Alaska” without an “e” at the end.

2. McCain’s desperate attempt to associate himself with Teddy Roosevelt’s Bull Moose Party.

1. Forget female voters, McCain targets men with “hot librarian” fantasies.