Garrison Keillor on America's latest Palin-drome

Reading Garrison Keillor's weekly syndicated column is like spending money to find the ultimate French Burgundy.

French Burgundy is damned expensive, and many are disappointing for the price. But finding a good one, regardless of the price, is an experience not to be forgotten.

To say Garrison Keillor is prolific is like saying there is sand at the beach. And like any prolific writer and creator — Shakespeare included — some of his oysters contain real pearls and others just sand and grit. Many of those pearls are found on his "greatest hits" CDs from "Prairie Home Companion" radio shows over the decades. In fact, my kids grew up listening to Keillor's stories of Lake Wobegon on tape after being tucked into bed.

It's nice to fall asleep with humor in your head, and I'd like to think that Keillor's audio sketches are at least partly responsible for my boys being honor students today at two well-regarded universities.

Lately Keillor's weekly columns have contained a lot of sand and grit with just an inkling of a pearl at the end, something usually cleverly slamming "the Current Occupant" or his designated successor of the elephantine party. In short, his columns have been more Hauts Côtes de Nuits than Chambertin.

Yet today's column is more a return to the old days when Keillor was at his creative best. It's funny and pointed and almost acerbic from the get-go and funny and pointed and almost acerbic all the way to the end.

And yes, true to form, he alludes to his favorite president in the final paragraph, which concludes:

She's like the Current Occupant but with big hair. If you want inexperience, there were better choices.

Given the media hoo-ha since the pivotal point of the Republican Convention, it's not hard to guess whom and what this column is about. It's worth going off to a picnic on the beach with a bottle of Chambertin and reading it again....

The 'bums' try for an end run

Garrison Keillor
Tribune Media Services
September 10, 2008

So the Republicans have decided to run against themselves. The bums have tiptoed out the back door and circled around to the front and started yelling, "Throw the bums out!" They've been running Washington like a well-oiled machine to the point of inviting lobbyists into the back rooms to write the legislation, and now they are anti-establishment reformers dedicated to delivering us from themselves. And former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani is an advocate for small-town America. Bravo.

They are coming out for Small Efficient Government the very week that the feds are taking over Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, those old cash cows, and in the course of a weekend $20 billion or $50 billion (pick a number) go floating out the Treasury door. Hello? Do you see us out here? We are not fruit flies, we are voters, we can read and write, we didn't just fall off the coal truck.

It is a bold move on the Republicans' part—forget about the past, it's only history, so write a new narrative and be who you want to be.

The rest of the column can be found here and here.