Thursday, September 18, 2014

Kerry Claims U.S. Has Found a Moderate Syrian Rebel

[VV note: Lest some of our readers think that all we post is serious stuff, this is written thoroughly tongue-in-cheek.]

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In what Secretary of State John Kerry described as a significant foreign-policy coup, the U.S. claimed, on Tuesday, that it had successfully located a moderate Syrian rebel.

Though Kerry did not elaborate on how the U.S. did so, he said that locating the rebel was “the culmination of a months-long effort.”

The Secretary of State said that the Syrian had been appropriately vetted and was deemed “moderately rebellious.”

“He definitely seems to be the sort of gentleman we can work with,” Kerry said, adding that several millions of dollars would be spent arming and training the rebel in the days and weeks ahead.

(More here.)


Blogger Tom Koch said...

Sufficiently ambiguous.

7:36 PM  

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