Old Man With Clicker

By MAUREEN DOWD
NYT

HOLLYWOOD

There were differences.

She had a dead chimp. He had a live water buffalo. She had an Isotta Fraschini with leopard-skin upholstery. He had a Suzuki van. She used tuberoses.

He used Avena syrup, an herbal Viagra. She liked Champagne and caviar.

He liked Coca-Cola and Pepsi. She had a script. He had a Koran. She had a white telephone. He had no telephone.

But the similarities were striking. The faded murderous glamour queen and faded murderous terror king relied on drivers to negotiate their relations with the world. Married multiple times, they were both ensconced with lovers half their age in high-priced villas that shut out the world, vainly looking at old videos of themselves and primping, hoping for spectacular comebacks that would wow their fans.

Instead, Justice pounded up the stairs.

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