Recent photos reveal Goldman 'feeding frenzy' picnic

At right, Goldman Sachs executives enjoy the fruits of their labors (Ed Oudenaarden / EPA)

(Wall Street, VVP) — Recent photos obtained by Vox Verax Press show that Goldman Sachs executives celebrated their monumental profits in 2009-2010 with lavish picnics in the woods in upstate New York.

Touting that the revered Wall Street banking giant and U.S. government executive trainer had found a "no fail" way of making huge sums of money, Goldman CEO Lloyd Blankfein said, "How could you go wrong? You tout and sell a highly convoluted, Rube Goldberg-style of investment that no one can understand, and then you bet against it at the same time knowing full well it's going to fail. You win on the way up, and you win on the way down. It's a classic 'win-win' situation. Even a chimpanzee can figure that one out."

Blankfein added that it didn't hurt to get friends and former Goldman executives in the government to approve gigantic taxpayer-funded bailouts to failing companies that Goldman did business with. "We covered our monkey-asses on that one," Blankfein continued. "We didn't get the bailout money directly. That would've looked bad. Instead, we got the government to give the money to AIG and some of those other suckers so they could pay us back for what they owed us. It was sheer genius! No wonder we had cause to celebrate."

And celebrate Goldman executives have. "We got all zee pineapple and mangos we wanted," noted Goldman "whiz kid" Fabrice Tourre. "And eet was kind of fun running around in zee forest wizzout any clothes too! Dom Perignon, eet goes great wees papaya!"