Imagining the Inaugural

By GAIL COLLINS
NYT

Right now you may be asking yourself: How am I going to celebrate Barack Obama’s inauguration?

You may, of course, have something else on your mind entirely. Like what the chances are that the next time you get on a plane, geese could fly into both engines. Or what the heck geese are doing in New York in the middle of winter when their relatives who worked hard and played by the rules had all gone south months ago.

Or you may just be wondering how that rescue in the Hudson River would have gone if it had been led off by the Department of Homeland Security rather than New York Waterway’s director of ferry operations.

I can’t help you, people. Today I am on inauguration duty.

(More here.)