Newsflash: Florida Gov. Charlie Crist is Getting Married — To a Woman!

Trish | Jul. 3, 2008
The Pensito Review

Pull out your wallets, kids, and prepare to wager. We’ll need two separate pools. One is for the person who most closely predicts how soon Charlie Crist, 51 and gay, will call off his engagement to Carole Rome, 38 and not quite divorced yet, if John McCain doesn’t pick him as his running mate. The other is for how long the marriage will last if McCain does pick him, or alternatively, if Charlie goes through with it just to prove he’s not gay. Which he is. Gay.

But first, let’s enjoy Charile’s newfound bliss vicariously, by reading how his engagement came to be.

Crist, 51, asked Carole Rome to marry him Thursday morning at his St. Petersburg apartment, giving her a blue sapphire ring surrounded by diamonds. She immediately said yes.

“I’m very happy and couldn’t be more pleased. What a great way to celebrate America’s birthday,” said Crist, who has been mentioned as a potential running mate for Republican presidential candidate John McCain. “We’ve been talking about it for quite a while. I asked her while we were looking out over Tampa Bay and I couldn’t think of a better place to do it.”

O.K., how many men not in the closet say they “couldn’t be more pleased” that the woman they passionately love accepted their proposal? And how many describe the experience as “a great way to celebrate America’s birthday?” That would be…let’s see…rounding off to the next decimal point…carrying the one…adjusting for the Eastern time zone…yeah, zero.

(Continued here.)